Spanish for Xenophobes

Spanish for Xenophobes is a humorous approach to Spanish that shows you can speak the language simply by using Plain English. Invaluable phrases will spill off your tongue, including such gems as: “Do you have a garlic-free zone?,” “Your donkey is standing on my foot,” and “It's going to take how long?” Fun in the sunAnyone attempting to understand the Spanish must first of all recognize the fact that they do not consider anything important except total enjoyment. If it is not enjoyable it will be ignored. You can't buy happinessThe happiness of the individual is considered to be much more important than money. The goat herder who strolls the countryside with his animals breathing in the fresh air and loving his problem-less life is much more admired than the wealthy industrialist who hasn't time to enjoy life and spends quite a lot of his earnings on medicines to calm his peptic ulcers. SexplicitIn Spain lust is ever in the air. There is nothing about the Spanish appreciation of sex that is inhibited or restrained. It is accepted that both men and women love making love, which is why there are very few sexual crimes in the country. Everything in triplicateIt is impossible to reside in Spain without spending part of your life applying to an authority for some sort of permit, either to be allowed to go on existing once you are born, to be allowed to stay if you have come from abroad, to be allowed to start a