Amateurs, The

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Gary Irvine has a beautiful wife who refuses to have sex with him. To allay his frustrations he shoves his heart, soul, and cash into the gaping maw of the even more dismissive mistress that is golf. Yet despite his best efforts, his game is wretched, the ball defies him, the hole eludes him, and hes often moved to shameful blubbering in the mens locker room after particularly nasty rounds. Until one day, taking a lesson from a friend of his late father, a moment of clarity comes upon him and a movement of grace sends his ball flying in a classic draw, onto the green, and into the hole. Then everything goes black. After waking up from a coma a few weeks later, with seemingly nothing worse than a golf-ball-sized dent in his temple, Gary returns to the course to find that he cannot go wrong. Every drive, iron shot, chip, and putt unfolds as if the game of golf lay undressed and willing before him. The head trauma seemingly imprinted that last perfect swing on his brain. However, his friends begin to notice something of a strange, audible tick. A stream of muttered expletives pour from Garys mouth as if it flowed from the River Styx. He cant control what he says. In a stressful golf match his cursing only worsens - and is directed at opposing golfers, spectators, young mothers, and children - and in fact evolves into another troubling symptom: extreme sexual arousal and a crippling need to expose himself...