Side Affects

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How the “bad feelings” of trans experience inform trans survival and flourishing. Some days—or weeks, or even years—being trans can feel overwhelmingly negative. Hil Malatino highlights the lack of space for trans individuals to process or express these feelings, which are often viewed with suspicion as they challenge narratives of acceptance or reinforce harmful stereotypes of trans identity. In this work, Malatino initiates a crucial conversation about the emotional realities of trans lives, including fatigue, envy, burnout, numbness, and rage, amidst the pervasive casual and structural transphobia. The emotional experiences of trans individuals are often framed negatively, whether in discussions of childhood trauma before transition or the ongoing antagonism faced post-transition, particularly for trans people of color. Despite this, society discourages the expression of despair or despondency. By centering these marginalized feelings, the work proposes an affective trans commons that transcends political debates about inclusion. Recognizing powerful emotions like anger and exhaustion is essential for fostering justice-oriented advocacy and organizing, ultimately recalibrating new avenues for survival and well-being within the trans community.