The Princess Beard

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Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernailswhich was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise. This is not a story about finding true loves kissit's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong. But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First theres Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then theres Tempest, whos determined to become the first dryad lawyerpreferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. Theyre joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Snarchivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and youve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas! In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters